WHO NEEDS TO KNOW?
Think about who needs to know what - and try to stop being so private! You need others to help as you think about the inevitability of your death.
Facing the death of a loved one is tough enough. It is extra difficult when you have told your best friend your wishes – such as don’t you dare let me cremate me – but you haven’t put it in writing or even told your spouse. “I don’t want to upset him. But he better not do what I don’t want.”
Excuse me? It is hard enough to get through a death without expecting mind reading to be a part of the game plan. You have to put your wishes in writing. You have to tell people you love what you do and don’t want.
And you don’t know where to start? How about creating every possible situation you can imagine yourself in before your death. Example: If you got hit by a car tomorrow what would your survivors need to know (that they don’t already know)? If you were one of the COVID-19 victims lingering in a solitary confinement hospital bed for months before dying, what would your loved ones need to know? If you mother died tomorrow, who do you give her wedding ring to? Do you know where your parents keep their will?
Some things will just have to be figured out on their own. Other things could be worked on in advance – and allow for time for someone to change their mind again and again. With luck, you and your loved ones will live to a very old age with good quality of life. However, that is not a guarantee.
Other questions can be talked about based on circumstances. Do you have young children? Is there paperwork naming how they will be cared for – by whom, financially, and more? Or on a less heavy note, how does someone access your Post Office box (oh they don’t know you have one?) or is there something pretty secret in the back of your desk drawer that you don’t want your daughter or someone else to ever see?
Who needs to know is a HUGE question when you are not around – or able – to answer the question. Why not plan today so that if the unexpected happens the answers are available? Talking about death won’t kill you – but you can be guaranteed that you will die. We just don’t have expiration dates.
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