Thoughts to Consider Before Someone You Love Dies
Act on your thoughts today - and prepare for someone you love to die - it is part of life!
Lots has been written about death - but not about preparing for the death of a loved one. Dr. Brenner believes that death becomes more on our mind when a loved one or friend is old and showing illnesses. However, illness or a sudden accident can "surprise" any of us at any time. Life changes.
The article reminds us that the death of anyone significant in your life is tough to handle. It is even harder when the person is someone that you thought you would have a lifetime to enjoy together.
No amount of paperwork can take away the emptiness or pain that comes from an unexpected death. Though I advocate for end of life planning that should start at least when you are age 18, that alone will not make death any less painful for the dying person or for you when left alive on this earth.
The biggest suggestion that this article states - and I have stated in my work - is by saying what you want today. Do not put off until tomorrow what you could have shared today. No regrets.
Do not be afraid to say I love you whenever it comes to your mind. You want to be sure that the person or persons you love know that they were cared for. There are no expiration dates on humans. Death happens. Only 70% of Americans live beyond age 65.
Death leaves a hole in both your heart and your life. Grief goes on for a very long time. Dr. Brenner reminds us that you could grieve forever. Grieving is from the Latin word for burden. Gravis means heavy. Those who continue to live have a heavy heart. You will constantly miss the partner. You also will worry about how much of you has died alongside them. How can you carry on without your partner?
You will need to give yourself time to make decisions. You will need time to rethink your life. You will need to take care of yourself. Lastly and most important, you will need to be sure you can fully love yourself.
I urge you to let your mind think about the inevitability and probability of such a death happening and you moving on.
My thoughts were inspired by an article at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/202008/7-ways-prepare-the-death-loved-one
7 Ways to Prepare for the Death of a Loved One What's important to know before a significant other passes away by Abigail Brenner, MD in Psychology Today August 31, 2020
Thanks Dr. Brenner for your thoughts on this BIG issue.....
also
We have countless jokes online and in person about nonstop phone calls at all hours begging you to extend your car warranty - even when you don't own a car! But we don't talk about death. AND we all have death in common!
Upon death, even if your legal paperwork is completed will there be problems? Tell others about your wishes. Make changes as often as you want but be sure your loved ones know. Problems arise when loved ones disagree. Money can do that to wills.
You don't have to discuss death daily. Yet you need to face that we all will die. Give yourself a rest sometimes but remember that each day is precious.